as a consequence

as a consequence
Originally uploaded by Ms. Ryan

Domestic Violence and Suicide

One in three women is victimized by domestic violence at some point in her life.

Only one in five victims with physical injuries seeks medical treatment.

Only about half of domestic violence incidents are reported to police.

Almost all of the perpetrators of domestic violence say that they will stop. But most don't. The violence usually gets worse.

All women who are victims of domestic violence are at risk of being murdered by their abusers.

And one out of every four women who are the victims of domestic violence attempt suicide.

Domestic violence is always wrong, and it is a crime.

And there is never an excuse for domestic violence. Never.

All perpetrators of domestic violence are cowards and criminals.

The women who are victimized by these heinous crimes feel trapped and confused. The abuser not only physically attacks the woman, but also psychologically attacks her. The verbal attacks are meant to control the victim, and to try to strip her of her self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-love. The perpetrator also often wants the woman to believe that she is at fault for the violence and the verbal abuse.

Many domestic violence victims try to change their behavior (even though they are not doing anything wrong) because the horrible attacks leave them hopeless, helpless, and confused. But there really is nothing that the victims can do to stop the violence, because they are dealing with a selfish, cruel criminal who does not have a conscience. All of the blame is on the criminal--the cowardly perpetrator of the domestic violence--not on the victim.

The horrible crime of domestic violence often results in a woman isolating herself and becoming clinically depressed.

Many women feel trapped and powerless, and do not receive treatment for their depression, and thus believe that suicide is the only way out.

Also, many children who are in households where domestic violence occurs attempt suicide. Children are deeply affected by the physical and emotional abuse; they too feel powerless, and oftentimes become depressed. They may seek to end their own pain and escape from the horrors of domestic violence with dying by suicide.

The beauty of my everyday...

The beauty of my everyday...
Originally uploaded by Ms. Ryan

Hush, Little Baby
Hush, little baby, don't say a word,
Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird.

If that mockingbird don't sing,
Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring.

If that diamond ring turns to brass,
Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass.

If that looking glass gets broke,
Mama's gonna buy you a billy-goat.

If that billy-goat won't pull,
Mama's gonna buy you a cart and bull.

If that cart and bull turns over,
Mama's gonna buy you a dog named Rover.

If that dog named Rover won't bark,
Mama's gonna buy you a horse and cart.

If that horse and cart falls down,
You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town.

Face Down Lyrics (The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus)

Hey girl you know you drive me crazy
one look puts the rhythm in my hand.
Still I'll never understand why you hang around
I see what's going down.

Cover up with make up in the mirror
tell yourself it's never gonna happen again
you cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

Do you feel like a man
when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
every action in this world will bear a consequence
If you wade around forever you will surely drown
I see what's going down.

I see the way you go and say your right again,
say your right again
heed my lecture

Face Down Lyrics
Do you feel like a man
when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down a new life she has.

Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough..

Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough..

One day she will tell you that she has had enough
its coming round again.

Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has.

Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has.

Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough..

Today was a heartbreaking moment...

Originally uploaded by Ms. Ryan

I was laughing like a loon after accidentally scaring one of my cats, as it hit my funny bone. My youngest daughter looks at me and smiles. Then she says, "Mommy, I haven't heard you laugh like that in lots of days."

So for you child, I will smile... I will laugh... because my heart needs it just as much as yours.

We shall smile and laugh in the face of adversity. I wish you to learn this as well, child.

I love you daughter.

The darkness is receeding...

The darkness is receeding...
Originally uploaded by Ms. Ryan

I was granted a restraining order against my soon to be ex. For no contact, and conduct. I am still afraid, but now I feel that I can reach out for help.

I reach for you...

I reach for you...
Originally uploaded by Ms. Ryan

Just trust me and take my hand...
I want to show you...
that you can trust me...
to handle your heart with kid gloves...
that I can teach you wrong from right...
that you can trust me...
to love you unconditionally...
to hold the monsters at bay...

I just want them to be free from violence...

I just want them to be free from violence...
Originally uploaded by Ms. Ryan

and know they have the right to feel safe... every single moment of every single breath.

What word do you choose today?

originally uploaded by Ms. Ryan.

One word has the power
to destroy
to heal
to touch
to regret
to harm
to love
to charm
to give

What word do you choose today?

i. am. aware.

i. am. aware. Poster, originally uploaded by Ms. Ryan.

Each year an estimated 3.3 million children are exposed to violence against their mothers or female caretakers by family members. (American Psychological Association, Violence and the Family: Report of the APA Presidential Task Force on Violence and the Family,1996)

Studies show that child abuse occurs in 30 to 60 percent of family violence cases that involve families with children. (J.L. Edleson, "The overlap between child maltreatment and woman battering." Violence Against Women, February, 1999.)

Research shows that 80 to 90 percent of children living in homes where there is domestic violence are aware of the violence. (Pagelow, "Effects of Domestic Violence on Children," Mediation Quarterly, 1990)

Awareness

Awareness, originally uploaded by Ms. Ryan.

Older children may be hurt while trying to protect their mother.

Approximately 90% of children are aware of the violence directed at their mother.

Children are present in 41-55% of homes where police intervene in domestic violence calls.

Children in homes where domestic violence occurs may experience cognitive or language problems, developmental delay, stress-related physical ailments (such as headaches, ulcers, and rashes), and hearing and speech problems.

Many children in homes where domestic violence occurs have difficulties in school, including problems with concentration, poor academic performance, difficulty with peer interactions, and more absences from school.

Approximately 15 states have passed legislation recognizing that domestic violence should affect child custody hearings.

Boys who witness domestic violence are more likely to batter their female partners as adults than boys raised in nonviolent homes.

I finally believe...

that I deserve better than he gave me. Way better. I deserve not to be screamed at, mauled, pawed, treated as an object, slammed to the ground, emotionally manipulated, and disrespected. And raped. I deserve not to ever be raped, emotionally or physically again.

I really hope that the judge grants me the restraining order, I am afraid of what will happen if he doesn't.

During my marriage...

, originally uploaded by Ms. Ryan.

I felt like I was trapped, with no way out. Here I had children to protect and feed. He did a wonderful job of making me think i couldn't do it on my own. I can't even explain how many times he threatened to quit his job when I was at my breaking point, and ready to walk out that door.

He still is trying to control me monetarily.

It had come down...

to the choice between accepting the escalating violence and losing myself, or fighting for the right for safety for my children and myself.

Guess my will to survive was stronger than I thought.